i hate to say it but when it comes to facebook chats, its best to not have the last word. how lame do you look to always be the last to say good bye. he can say i gtg all he wants thats just a clear sing that the pitiful convo that just went down is done, i dont need to give you a sweet goodbye. face it i just flirted so hard and you wernt gonna have none of it. i guess ill just put a cold seen at 9:35 and you can suck my dick. i really want to be with you but put in your share of the work punk

to sum it up the main points included my teachers seem ok im gonna try real hard on the work load for apus and stuff. things between me and nathan seem awkward but judgeing but my slight jelousy and what not of him and sydney in gym im seeing i still have feelings for him. he schted me on facebook after school at like 9 i sliped in i luv you too as if i ment to send it to some one else it was awkward juat as i planend a not so subtle but sneeky way of reminding him of old feelings. no home work yet tomarrow shall be diffrent.i wathc as band eats away my social life i hope i can memorize these songs.all in all it was a good day caroline came over and helped sell marching band swag im up to 4 6 more to go. time for solitare them sleep sorry bout the spelling aint nobody got time to fix dat shit

here is the paper i drew up while at camp feeling deprest sitting on the courts thinging about my shity life my old pros and cons with nathan.now that we are over i wish i still had someone to call my own but maybe not nathan someone more luke like.but i still love nathan not love but in a friend love i guess wtf do i know my head said it so i wrote it thats how it is in this townso theres the list enjoy

ok i cant take this any more what the deal me

2 hours ago


watchu meanhim


...


i just dont know whats happening with us anymore


same


well then i guess were both lost


wanna break up?
and just b friends?


if that what you want i can be happy with that


do u want that?
im gonna b really busy this year


ok but nathan are you sure we can still be friends i really want that for us


course, just like b4, but im taking a lot of classes and ur in marching band so...we good


trust me i know the stress


we can even still have those long txt chats and we might even talk more


yeah i think we may have been closr before we even started dating and we dont know how tis year is gonna go i blame summer for this whole mess in the first place


so we good, no hard feelings


can we try a hang out


yeah, maybe next week


its just
fuck im so conflicted we havent seen each other in like 2 months what if were breaking up for no good reason


idk, we could've seen each other a bunch of times, but then camp, then telling r parents we were doing hw, then actually doing hw


i was just so mad it seemed like you dident care anymore


i did, but thats y we should do this


i mean a relationship is a two person job if one wants out then it ends i think im fine eather way toghather or just friends just as long as we can both be happy ya know but i dont like making rash dessions so unless you are sure this is whats best i fine putting this down for a night and comming back to it tomarrow
inconclusion your call


i think as friends we would b better, not that we weren't good 2gether, but this year were both gonna b more busy. and i think as friends, it will b good, we can even continue 2 b an on and off married couple


so be it
*pops champain*
congrats we're single!


kk aight, its all good, and we r friend
s

8:07pm
corse

we shall see how this goes it sucks that stupid past kate did not post for our entire relationship but ohh well now im talking to cyril who also broke up with his conter part kayla shuster today rip hannah rosenfelder<3 nathan maher levy 
march 8 2013- august 23 2013 let the good times seem better then they were and let me learn from our mistakes

so today i will be eating my first ever twinkie and writing as i do so to capture the experiance

my first twinkie
crinkaly whraper
the stuggle of opening it
smells weirdi cant explain it
first bite time
no cream like lemmony cup cake bottom
bite two
marshmellow fluff mixed with iceing?
cream fels weird on my tounge
nom nom nom nom
its ok
ite 6 the final bite of my first twinkie
its good i mean i wouldent go out and buy them but hey they are good
i dont know if i could have a second but im glad i had one finaly

any way so nathan did ask me out we did a good 3 mounths but one of those months was at camp and we hardly talked so i dont know if we are still going out im waiting for an apolige for his shity lack of caring and ditching a group hang out (it would have been our first time seeing each other in over a mounth
but what do i know i just wait and see i still ike him but he just doesnt care and i dont want that here is waht i said on the group chat

 ok im still pissed for so meny fucking reasons right now so shut the fuck up nathan you had the nerve to plan a whole fucking thing all week blowen up my phone then not even come to god damn event then not even tell your fucking girlfriend then if that wasent bad enough he come on the fucking page like "my parents said i couldent" FUCK THAT AND THEN HE HAS THE NERVE TO USE BITCH ASS HOE!!!!!! YOU WERENT EVEN THERE NORE DID YOU PICK UP THE PHONE THE WHOLE SUMMER TO HEAR THE FUCKING STORY in conclusion FUCK YOU


thats what i said and i ment it looking back he wanted just physical things and i wanted more and hes just a dick just a mean ass hole dick who dident give two fucks about me if he did he would have asked for a deeper meaning he would have cared if we are still togather then i dont know what i would do i dont know if i wnt to be with him anymore. if i did want a boyfriend i want him to really care and just dont think he does i dont think i want a boyfriend but i do want to hook up and stuff nathan sucked at making out too i want to be good at it i want to smoke weed i want to get drunk i want to cry i want to party i want to be smart i want to be loved i want to be happy and i wnt to be loved
i just really want to be loved
the closent i ever felt to being loved was with john and we have never gone out im becoming friends with sarah johns now ex gf but they flirt alott and thus im on light speaking terms with him but i dont think it will ever be the same unless he decides that he cares. i just want to be loved. im in marching band and im in ap history so all next week i will be doing all that we will see .
thats i can handle for now i wish i could cry.
-bdlfg

so today was the day that state student councle happend i had 8 hours with my offical crush nathan we played 1 2 3 21 and we go the sentence Penis Comes Onnathansface Erryday ______ lolz Blank 9 7 8 12  Hannahs Rachet LargePubes 14 16 Hobbknocker endenger pussy 21.we bonded and ate a mass of food it was a wonderful day we were told each other that we were like an old married cupple and played never have i ever and learned alot about each other i love being close to him we are becoming great friends we ate burgers and fries and pizza and cookies and learned about puff football.it was perfect not a single down fall of the trip sum Nthan is great and i loved the State student councle trip even if it was a 4 way trip to tcnj.i went home and skyped and play mc with john and dj95 he is cool and with my new solid like for nathan i dont seem to care so much about john and grace.ohh yeah and i went to tutering and did my math it was a good day.